Attack of the INSANE FANGIRL
by Fomalhaut
Summary: Faust and Eliza would like to lead a happy and quiet life, but what happens when an insane Faust VIII fangirl comes to live next door? CHAOS AHEAD! CHAPTER 4 FINALLY UP!
1. Lilias

**To my friend Ági a.k.a Lilias!

* * *

"It seems like we've got new neighbors" said Eliza, looking out of the window.  
"Hm" replied Faust, not too excited, sitting at the table reading a newspaper.**

If only he knew…!

_INTERFERENCE  
_**Lilias: Hey you fanfic writer! You told me this was the address! And stop all this describing, I want to…  
****Me: Okay okay calm down! It is!  
****Lilias: Fine then. I'll check it out right now.  
**_INTERFERENCE OVER_

Sorry for it, I'll…

**Lilias: Get back to the story NOW!**

So, the doorbell rang at Faust's a few seconds later.  
"Could you please open, Eliza dear?"  
She did so, and found a young girl with short dark hair, their new neighbor, standing in the doorway.  
"Eliza!" she said.  
"Do we know each other…?"  
"Who is it?" Faust walked out of the living room.  
The girl suddenly blushed, her eyes began sparkling like stars, and she yelled:  
"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH IT'S HIM! KISS ME JOHANN!"  
And with a swift move she pushed Eliza apart and jumped over a petrified Faust.  
"Get off me! Who are you, anyway!"  
„My name is Lilias, dear Faust… and, as it happens in lovely stories, from now on, we'll be together forever…"  
He stood up and get her off him in a moment.  
"Listen, I…"  
"Aaah my love! Never thought your hair was so soft!"  
Eliza just came back with the scythe.  
"Get out – NOW!"  
"Forgot to tell you I'm a Shaman too! And I live next door! It was meant to beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"  
Eliza shut the door on her face.  
"NEXT DOOR! OH, NO!"

"Is that girl searching… in the trash…?" Faust stared out of the window.  
"As long as she stays out…!" sighed Eliza angrily.

**Lilias: Thank you Fomalhaut!**

Lilias, _actually_ searching in the trash can, soon found something she loved.  
"Aaah Johann Faust VIII my love! These must have belonged to you!" she lifted up a pair of worn out rubber gloves.  
Holding them on her face (no matter they smelt of rotten fish), she walked back to her home.

"It was meant to beeeeeeeeeeee! Kiss me Faust!" she hugged her pillow, drooling after him. Then she picked up the rubber gloves and held them close to her as she slept.

_I'll get a lock of your soft hair, my love…

* * *

_

**Reviews appreciated!**


	2. Supermarket Trouble

**HEY EVERYONE! Check out the link in my profile, I added some pics featuring Lilias in my DeviantArt gallery:-)**

**Lilias herself reviewed! Go check it out:-) And, yes, I know this fic is weird... but it's meant to be like that! Okay, more craziness ahead!

* * *

**

Since during the rest of the week Lilias spent whole days lingering at the fence, staring dreamily at their house, and occasionally showing up the small scissors in her pocket, Faust and Eliza found it better to stay indoors all the time.

Until Friday. For it was time to restock the fridge. Lilias was definitely not a good reason to starve.

"But my love… Eliza…" said Faust, cracking his knuckles nervously.  
"It's 5 AM. The 24-hour supermarket at the end of the street is open; here's the shopping list. I bet she's still sleeping now. And don't worry if she doesn't!" she pointed at the closet where she kept her scythe.

Faust looked around carefully, then crept out of their home. Unfortunately, there was no way to avoid passing by Lilias's house to reach the supermarket.

As he arrived in front of her home, he was just about to sigh satisfied when suddenly her door swung open and…  
"Dear Johann! How sweet of you to come visit me so early!"  
Faust dropped the shopping list and ran back to their home.  
Lilias' eyes shone sinisterly as she picked it up – the last thing caught her eye, obviously written by a different hand than the rest: _Some pretty outfit for my dear Eliza_.

"She's gone… I can't see her… go now, Faust! If she dares to get out, I will catch her!"  
Faust reluctantly left with a brand new shopping list.  
Eliza watched him 'til he reached the supermarket. No sign of Lilias.

Faust had finished at the food department quite swiftly, and without any sign of the insane fangirl. He sighed in relief as he walked over to the clothing store, hoping to see something for Eliza.  
Something moved in one of the dressing cabins.  
As Faust walked by, suddenly the curtains were pulled apart, and there stood Lilias, wearing only a little black bra and panties.  
"JOHANN! MY LOVE!"  
"_Mein Gott…!_" and Faust ran off at the speed of light.

"Hmm…" wondered Lilias, sitting on her bed, caressing the rubber gloves "did he say _mein Gott_ in surprise, or because I was so damn sexy…? Nah! Obviously because I was so sexy! JOHANN FAUST VIII LOVES ME! And now I know what he likes too…" and she winked at the shopping list on her bedside table.


	3. Lilias' friend

**In this chapter, my character makes an appearance too! If you like her, I may consider posting her story as well, though it's not a humor one like this one. It's a simple Shaman story, a bit emotional, especially about her guardian ghost - he's based on a person who really lived.

* * *

Luckily Faust at least managed to restock the fridge for another week.  
With each day passing, he became more and more nervous. He just couldn't forget Lilias' image, and not because she was so wonderful. She simply scared him. **

Luckily Faust at least managed to restock the fridge for another week.With each day passing, he became more and more nervous. He just couldn't forget Lilias' image, and not because she was so wonderful. She simply scared him. 

On Tuesday, it began to rain. Eliza sighed in relief: Lilias didn't linger at the fence anymore, or show up gigantic banners with _FAUST + LILIAS_ written inside a big red heart.

Friday came. Time to go shopping.

Faust carefully tiptoed out of their home, hoping the fog and the rain will conceal him well enough.

Suddenly he noticed a figure walking, no, running towards him. But it was too late.  
"AAARGH! ELIZA!"  
"This is for you" and Lilias, all wet but smiling like the sun, handed him a full shopping bag "just thought I'd do the shopping for you! Goodbye!"

And she left him there, standing astonished, slowly getting soaked in the rain.

What was more surprising than the fact that Lilias _actually didn't_ try to shove him down on the road and make out to him, was that there were no hidden sexy photos of her or messages of love hidden among the food and drinks – she bought everything Faust and Eliza liked, no more and no less. And, though he spent hours in his lab checking out, she didn't add poison or love potion to any of them.

That evening, when the raining had ceased, Lilias decided to visit her friend, shaman Fomalhaut LaPsa, to tell her about Faust.  
"Johann Faust VIII loves me!" she said, and smiled satisfied.  
Fomalhaut, or Fomi, sitting in front of her in another armschair, sighed.  
"And what about his wife? Listen, Lilias, I know it's hard, but… look, I don't hang so desperately on someone…"  
Suddenly Fomi's guardian ghost, a 5-year-old boy named Devon, appeared.  
"Oh, really? Then why does Manta come over nearly each evening?"  
"Devon, SHUT UP! So, Lilias, as I was saying…"  
But Lilias cut her down by starting to tell Faust's each single good quality.  
She just got really busy telling an enervated Fomi about how she enjoys the warm, fuzzy feeling she gets when only _thinking_ about him, when a baseball ball hit her with full power in the middle of her forehead, and she fainted.  
"Thanks, Devon! You're the best!" and Fomi gave the guardian ghost a kiss.  
"My pleasure!" smiled the little boy.


	4. Shopping again

**This story lives:-) There will be something like a plot soon, too :-)

* * *

The next week passed without any special events – Lilias stayed closed in her house, to the Faust family's great pleasure. The reason behind this mysterious behaviour was the huge lump on her forehead, caused by Devon's baseball ball.**

On Thursday evening, finally, Faust discovered a small envelope lying on the fence.

_Dear Johann,_

_I love you, but that's not the point for now, I know you'll soon find out for yourself that we're made for each other. Don't go to the supermarket on Friday._

"You _have_ to go to the supermarket, Johann" concluded Eliza "this means she's planning soemthing…"  
"But she knows you're home too, dear Eliza!"  
"Sure… then don't go… maybe she wants you to go… or me to go… wait! She knows that we _need_ to go! Maybe she wants _me_ to leave…"

Even after hours, Faust and Eliza couldn't come up with a normal reason why Lilias could have written such a note. If, of course, the world "normal" could be used in connection to Lilias.

On Friday, when Faust and Eliza's fridge went _completely_ empty, Faust sighed and sneaked out of the house. No rain or fog to conceal him this time, sadly. It was early in the morning, the fresh air was relieving. Oh, if only he didn't have to pass by Lilias' home…

He reached the supermarket safely. No sign of Lilias. Her home seemed empty and dark.

Just when he was about to enter the shop… _Lilias stepped out.  
_Faust turned even more pale then usual and made a step back.  
"E… Eliza…" he stammered.  
"Foolish you!" Lilias handed him the carrier bag "haven't I told you not to come!"

They held each other's gaze while their hands touched for a slight moment as he took it from her.  
"But I love you this way!" before he could react, Lilias leant forward and blew a kiss on his cheek. A second later she was gone.

"Wow, you've done it fast!" Eliza began to unpack.  
"Yeah" Faust answered, a bit confused. He didn't dare to tell Eliza. At least, Lilias bought all their favourite brands of food.

"Lilias, you are a fool" pirate girl Mary-Lin, Lilias' guardian ghost, floated around the room "the same foolish little girl I swore to protect…"  
Lilias didn't pay attention. Just knowing Faust's tastes, touching his fingers for a slight second…  
"I stole a kiss! Yippeee!" and she threw a cushion at Mary-Lin.


End file.
